Dark and Lonely

there are things my soul says i must write about, things i must share and things I must teach and learn.

scary things about what it means to say you want intimacy, but to posture your inner world by so much so that is utterly unattainable

and it works because you can go on, and continue saying you want more intimate things, more connection, more vulnerability without actually giving to that which youre deathly afraid of not having.

At night sometimes you cry at the fact that maybe noone has ever known you. Not even your own mother. You are truly alone, the whole full aspect of yourself is widely unknown, just like the ocean. How terrifying.

What happens when one of your crazy looking monsters surfaces one night.

Or what happens when someone discovers a mysterious triangle, that which cannot be described by nature, looks wholly foreign to everything you’ve ever been or been known to be, even to yourself. Youre something you dont actually even recognize.

As you drift farther and farther away, as the blacks in the waters turn to blue again, you’d realize you’ve learned nothing. You still dont know what it was. Your oceans are just as uncharted as they were yesterday, but you’d still come back home and call yourself an explorer.

Because the people around you are most comfortable at the shore. Theyd much rather read it in a book, watch it in a movie.

Whatever would they do if the real thing was beneath us, in front of us or on top us.